Say a prayer for 'Preachers' Daughters'

Monday, 11 March 2013 11:29 AM Written by 

prechers daughters

We've already had "Preachers' Wives" (thanks to TLC's "The Sisterhood") so why not, "Prechers’ Daughters"? The new reality series comes to Lifetime at 10 p.m. Tuesday, bringing with it the promise of ill-behaved PKs ("preachers' kids," a pretty universal name for the children of a minister, which might have been a more relateable title here.) 

But despite an advisory that suggests dire doings -- "This program may cointain subject matter and language disturbing to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised" -- it never really delivers the goods.

Read more after the jump. ...

To be sure, the show's "coming up" segment attempts to make these mostly teen daughters of ministers look like they are really up to no good.

"I thought of being a porn star," says 18-year-old Taylor Coleman in the "on this episode of..." segment.

But when that part of the show actually arrives the porn star statement is followed by "but of course I'm not gonna do it."

This doesn't stop her minister father from praying: "Oh God, please don’t ever let my daughter become a porn star. Amen." I'm sure the show's producers saw that as pure manna.

In addition to Taylor, the "Preachers' Daughters" cast includes 18-year-old teen mom Olivia Perry and 16-year-old Kolby Koloff.

Both of Kolby's divorced parents are ministers, but only her father is a former pro wrestler who went by the name Russian Nightmare. Her mom attempts to hip by talking explicitly about sex to teens and using the word "penetration" a lot (this is probably what inspired the viewer discretion warning). She makes Kolby's prospective boyfriend fill out an application form.

Kolby asks her older sister about oral sex while the pair suck on popsicles. Again, the producers must have been high-fiving each other when they first looked at that scene.

Olivia tells the story of how she was driving on acid, got into an accident and got pregnant, presumably not all on the same night. She kept the baby after her dad guilt-tripped her into it, saying an abortion wasn't an option because, "you'd be killing my granddaughter and I am not OK with that."

In a family meeting that's clearly staged for the cameras, her father asks another daughter,"Can you give us a quick update: Are you steering clear of temptation?" Because that's how people talk in real life when there's not a reality show crew in their living room.

Olivia has a new bit of information to share with her parents that she keeps referring to as "the paternity thing." Turns out more than one boy may be in the running to be the true father of her child. Oops!

So, yeah, "Preachers' Daughters" is pretty much the show you expect/fear it will be but with just one girl who's really gone down a bad path.

Most disingenuous of all, Bible verses are sometimes shown on screen before segments of the program, including, "God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives” from 1 Thessalonians. This only adds to the cheese factor because you know some poor intern had to Google all the Bible passages pertaining to sex so producers could choose the most appropriate verse to slap into their little show that attempts to be more tawdry than it is.

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