Paris Hilton is back on TV (you've been warned)

Wednesday, 01 June 2011 12:00 AM Written by 

paris_accoridngWhen networks send screeners, they come with a lot of legal disclaimers at the start, so I often pop a DVD in while getting lunch ready and the come back to watch it. Some screeners load and put up a menu, others start playing on their own.

When I turned on the TV a few minutes after popping in "The World According to Paris" (10 tonight, Oxygen), I could hear Paris Hilton exclaim, "Mom, your dog is humping my dog," and I could see some dog-on-dog action. Not sure there could have been a more appropos introduction to this constructed celeb-reality series.

Read more after the jump. ...

Basically "The World According to Paris" confirms every terrible thought you've ever had about Hilton. She comes across as a horrible person. She's a pig, a snob, a hypocrite and an inconsiderate, immature person who thinks of no one but herself. None of this comes as a big surprise.

"Some people say I'm famous for being famous," Hilton says in the show's introduction. "What they don't say is I'm also a singer, actress and fashion designer. I've got a great life but that doesn't mean it's easy."

Cue the world's smallest violin.

In the premiere episode Paris does some community service, painting over graffiti (pictured, above). She also learns her assistant writes porn movies. She doesn't act in them, she supposedly doesn't even write the sex scenes (not sure what that leaves left to write). But Paris decides to play moral crusader and gives her assistant an ultimatum: Knock off writing porn or work for me, you can't do both.

"That's the last thing I want to be associated with," Paris says as jaws will drop nationwide given Hilton's past indiscretions.

The first season of Hilton's 2003 Fox series "The Simple Life" was an amusing sideshow. "The World According to Paris" is not nearly as entertaining. The bloom is off the Paris Hilton rose. This new show just proves she's a person no one in their right mind would spend time with in real life. So why spend time with her on TV?

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